Just rewritten my services page - comments so far please

[joydivision]

Services:-

Virus Removal

M21 Technology Services offers a through virus removal service.
Laptop repairs

Most laptop repairs are catered for, from non booting systems to loose power socket jackets (DC Jack). In most cases a repair is far cheaper than replacing the unit. We can also recover data from none booting laptops should you decide to replace it.

Both laptop and desktop:-

*Upgrades from £15.00

*Memory (RAM) upgrades (can significantly speed up your computer, especially if it is around 3-6 years old) from £30.00 including the part.
The hard drive is where all your data and operating system is stored. These are mechanical devices which can fail as they get old or it may be that the drive cannot store enough data for its current needs. Typical symptoms include Replacements from £100 including backup of existing data*, fitting new hard drive, reinstalling windows*, copy data onto the drive and the installation of all updates and drivers.

*Comprehensive virus removal - The company uses a combination of scanning and manual removal techniques to ensure all infections are removed. Most modern viruses are designed so that the most common anti virus packages cannot detect them. However due to the experience and knowledge applied to each virus removal M21 make sure the system is clean before handing it back to the client. Prices start from £35.00 and are always capped at £60.00, in addition to these M21 Technology Services can also offer industry leading anti virus programs at discounted prices.

*Tune up – If your computer is running slow, a full tune up costs just £25.00, this removes any unwanted temporary files taking up valuable hard drive space and makes sure that only the necessary programs run in the background. It also includes a very basic virus scan to give the customer a second opinion that the system is virus free. Please note a tune up is not suitable if your computer has viruses, as these will need to be removed first.

*Diagnoses – A diagnoses fee will of £20.00 will be charged if the client decides not to go ahead with the repair, this is because quite often the diagnoses is the most skilled and time consuming part of the job.
Data recovery – We can recover data from dead PCs and laptops, memory cards and even USB drives. Please contact for us details.
Prices start from £25.00


Desktop:-
*Power supply replacements (common fault for example if your desktop PC won't turn on, we also only sell high quality power supplies (see link).

*Motherboard replacement – The motherboard is the main board of the computer, faults can develop in these which can prevent your PC from booting or cause other symptoms such as freezing. Before the motherboard is replaced a full diagnoses will be carried out to ensure this indeed the fault The costs of this varies so please phone.

*DVD ReWriter replacement – Problems with the DVD Writer drive are very common, replacements cost £40 including the part.
Laptop

*Power socket (DC Jack) these can work loose over time, causing your laptop not to power on or charge correctly. If left the weak connection can eventually start to arc causing further damager, or in extreme cases a fire. These can be replacement by removing the motherboard and soldering a new DC jack onto it.
Fixed cost of £75.00

*Keyboard replacement – Laptop keyboards can frequently go wrong, causing problems like many letters appearing when you press a key or to simply not working at all especially if there has been a spillage.
£25.00 plus part (parts vary from £15 to £50 depending on the model, so please phone for an exact price).

*Overheating – Overheating is a major problem with laptops, as they get older the thermal paste which bonds the processor and graphics chips to the heat-sink can fail causing serious overheating which can then shorten the life of other components, dust can also be a problem blocking the heat vents.
£60.00 including replacement of thermal paste and removal of all dust.

Home Tuition

Still need to write this section!

Each section will have clear pricing and graphics etc, this is just the text. What do you think so far? Any services I have obviously missed?

 

[Xander]

Here's the first half:

"Typical symptoms include Replacements from £100"
May want to re-word that. Replacements aren't symptoms.

"However, due to the experience and knowledge applied to each virus removal, M21 makes sure the"
"capped at £60.00. In addition to these, M21 Technology Services can also"
"tune up costs just £25.00. This removes"
"Please note that a tune up"
"Diagnosis – A diagnostic fee" (Diagnoses is plural)
"with the repair. This is because quite often the diagnosis is"
"the most skilled and time-consuming part of the job." reword the first part - the diagnosis isn't skilled.

 

[Xander]

"(A common fault, for example, if your desktop PC won't turn on. We also only sell high quality power supplies (see link))"
"board of the computer. Faults can "
"motherboard is replaced, a full diagnosis"
"to ensure this is, indeed, the fault. The costs of this varies so, please, phone."
"Writer drive are very common. Replacements"

"(DC Jack) These can"
" If left, the weak connection"
"damager, or in extreme cases, a fire."
"These can be replaced by removing"
"or to simply not working at all especially if there has been a spillage." reword
"problem with laptops. As they"
"get older, the thermal paste which bonds the processor and graphics chips to the heat-sink, can fail"
"components. Dust can also be a problem, blocking the heat vents. "

 

[joydivision]

Thanks, at this moment not concentrating too much on spelling and grammar, will go through all that before my final edit but any suggestions will make that process easier so thanks. Just wanted advice on the general jist of it really

Have I got the balance right between giving information but not being too technical?

Edit I should have checked through it myself before posting it on here

 

[javjim]

TMI

honestly i think now people look for a more minimalistic approach.

Its just a big wall of text that says a lot but who will read it?

IMHO

 

[Encrypted Existence]

I agree with javjim. I feel that it is a bit "techy" for "normal" people. I would dumb it up a bit if I were you. Keep it simple.

 

[joydivision]

Remember it will have lots of graphics etc and it will all be split up.

 

[joydivision]

I might just start from scratch and write a more general thing, and then add a separate price list with technical things on it.

 

[RichmondTech]

TMI

honestly i think now people look for a more minimalistic approach.

Its just a big wall of text that says a lot but who will read it?

IMHO

I saw the big quote block and zoned out after "Virus Removal". Sorry.

 

[joydivision]

As I said this is not how it will look on the site, it will all be separated out with graphics etc. I copied it from a word processor and it didn't copy too well.

 

[Martyn]

As I said this is not how it will look on the site, it will all be separated out with graphics etc. I copied it from a word processor and it didn't copy too well.

It's probably better to just put up soemthing that is nearly finished to get a true critique. As reagrds too much detail I thing we are all guily of that. I often find myself overdoing an explanation.

 

[joydivision]

Will have a go later, but being dragged out tonight, wanted to get on with work but my mate has split up with his girlfriend and is begging me to go out, I have given up saying no now.

So hopefully on Sunday I will have time to rewrite it

I used to be very good at writing but lost my skill now. This is my current page, written in 2006! The website has had a lot of updates since then, but the text on this page has stayed the same.

http://www.m21technology.co.uk/pc.php

The graphics are all my own, but you can see how old they are, the laptop is a P233 MMX and and the desktop is a PIII