GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,446
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
This reminds me of my Brother and his antics. He was a real clown at times...An elderly couple had just snuggled into bed when the old man let out a loud fart and proudly announced, "Seven points for me!"
His wife, puzzled, turned over and asked, "What are you talking about?"
Grinning, he replied, "We're playing fart football."
Not one to back down from a challenge, his wife waited a moment, then let out an impressive fart of her own. "Touchdown! Tie game!" she declared with a smirk.
A few seconds later, the old man let out another one and triumphantly announced, "14 to 7! Back in the lead!"
Determined to keep up, his wife responded with another loud one, then quickly followed it with a squeaker. "Touchdown and a field goal! I'm ahead, 17 to 14!"
Feeling the pressure, the old man gave it his all, but things took an unexpected turn. With one big push, he went a little too far and accidentally pooped the bed.
His wife, wide-eyed, stared at him and asked, "What just happened?"
With a sigh, the old man admitted, "Guess it’s halftime... time to switch sides."
Anyway...
He was in bed one night and apparently felt very thirsty, so he asked his wife to get him a glass of water.
Being like -5 deg C outside she refused and told him to get it himself.
Undeterred, he tried all the gooey lovey dovey stuff trying to get her to comply. She refused and and was starting to get quite irate with him because she wanted to sleep.
So he lay there quiet. Thinking. Planning.
All of a sudden he let out a silent but deadly fart! And waited...
At the exact same time as she smelled it he loudly proclaimed "Oh my God, I think I sh**t myself!"
His wife yanked back the covers and jumped out of bed yelling at him for being a disgusting child who couldn't
control his bodily functions...or words to that effect...
He just grinned and said "While you're up honey would you get me a glass of water....!