Humor Section!
- Thread starter TechLady
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4K gaming on a pocket PC... Wish I would have seen this on Saturday (4/1) (chuckles........)
http://www.pcworld.com/video/76258/...dot-one-pc-gives-you-4k-gaming-in-your-pocket
http://www.pcworld.com/video/76258/...dot-one-pc-gives-you-4k-gaming-in-your-pocket
Altster
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- Reaction score
- 1,394
- Location
- Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Looks like a LEGO set on steroids - so-to-speak
GTP
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- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
I've got some left handed screwdrivers going cheap! Any takers?
What about a slightly used bridge! Spans a beautiful harbour in Sydney! In excellent condition!
Only gets about 80,000 cars per day use! Comes with it's own maintenance crew!
Be quick!
Altster
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 1,394
- Location
- Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Hmmm, could be a money maker if a $1.00 toll (each way) were charged. Could even pay for itself after a few millenium.
A few quotes about the most computer illiterate things people have ever seen.
"A co-worker of mine, an older gentleman, knew how to use Excel, but nothing else. When he needed to type up a document, instead of opening up a word processor, he would open up Excel and just type his document into one cell that he enlarged to the size of an 8.5×11 piece of paper."
"I work with a guy, who for two months and countless visits from our IT guy, claimed that his computer was still going slow. So the IT guy set a dead computer tower, which isn’t even plugged into anything, next to the one that he was using and now my coworker says it goes twice as fast."
I guess I found a use for all the old computers in my shop instead of disposing of them. Just put it next the other computer when people claim it is running slow and tell them it should be twice as fast now.
"A co-worker of mine, an older gentleman, knew how to use Excel, but nothing else. When he needed to type up a document, instead of opening up a word processor, he would open up Excel and just type his document into one cell that he enlarged to the size of an 8.5×11 piece of paper."
"I work with a guy, who for two months and countless visits from our IT guy, claimed that his computer was still going slow. So the IT guy set a dead computer tower, which isn’t even plugged into anything, next to the one that he was using and now my coworker says it goes twice as fast."
I guess I found a use for all the old computers in my shop instead of disposing of them. Just put it next the other computer when people claim it is running slow and tell them it should be twice as fast now.
frase
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- 4,026
- Location
- Melbourne, Australia
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
Keep that brain working; try to figure this one out....
See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common?
1. Banana
2. Dresser
3. Grammar
4. Potato
5. Revive
6. Uneven
7. Assess
See if you can figure out what these seven words all have in common?
1. Banana
2. Dresser
3. Grammar
4. Potato
5. Revive
6. Uneven
7. Assess
I'll add a hint: It has something to do with the first letter of each
Reminds me of the guy who said:
"My computer says it can't see the printer."
"I've tried turning them around so that they're facing one another, but it still says it can't see it"
Markverhyden
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- Reaction score
- 10,837
- Location
- Raleigh, NC
Markverhyden
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 10,837
- Location
- Raleigh, NC
"But the Internet told me to do that".... I can just hear it. LOL!!!!
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
This is one of the funniest things I've seen!
Thank God for Youtube! I've had so many clients try to fix a simple thing by watching a Youtube video, then make a huge mess!
Simply means I can charge more!
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Scotland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, 565,000 pounds
The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you 25,000 pounds that your testicles are square.'
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you 25,000 pounds that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock
tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the 25,000 pounds bet made the day before that the bank president's testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige..
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president.
'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall.
He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him 100,000 pounds that around 10 o'clock in the morning, I would be fondling the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Scotland.'
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.
The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, 565,000 pounds
The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you 25,000 pounds that your testicles are square.'
The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you 25,000 pounds that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock
tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.
That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the 25,000 pounds bet made the day before that the bank president's testicles were square.
The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige..
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president.
'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall.
He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him 100,000 pounds that around 10 o'clock in the morning, I would be fondling the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Scotland.'
glricht
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 797
- Location
- Zephyrhills, Florida
LOL! And very similar to this one entitled "Don't Mess With Old People!"
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
I keep telling you! Don't Mess with Old People!!
- Reaction score
- 1,256
- Location
- Charente, France
Markverhyden
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 10,837
- Location
- Raleigh, NC
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
Wonder if it's legal?
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