GTP
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....yeesss...master...
Humor Section!
- Thread starter TechLady
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Mick
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Recently had an elderly gent phone me. Conversation as follows:
Him: "My kids recently bought me one of these new smart-phones and I need some help with it. Sound like your sort of thing?"
Me: "We'll try to help. What exactly is the problem?"
Him: "Its out-smarted me."
Him: "My kids recently bought me one of these new smart-phones and I need some help with it. Sound like your sort of thing?"
Me: "We'll try to help. What exactly is the problem?"
Him: "Its out-smarted me."
Markverhyden
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Makes me chuckle. I got my Dad, whose 93, an iPhone a few months ago. He's been taking courses on it as well.
manilovecollege
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That's a good one, Mick. My grandpa got a smart phone for Christmas and by New Year's he was already exasperated...
GTP
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This should boggle your mind! And Probably scare you as well!
1. At Wal-Mart, Americans spend $36,000,000 every hour of every day.
2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th)than Target sells all year.
4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears +Costco + K-Mart combined.
5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private employer, and most can't speak English.
6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.
7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, keep in mind they did this in only 15 years.
8. During this same period, 31 Supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
10. Wal-Mart has approx. 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers ; this is 1,000 more than it had 5 years ago.
11. This year, 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur At a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 billion).
12. 90% of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart.
13. The value of product for Wal-Mart passing through the port of San Diego each year is a larger sum than 93% of ALL countries Gross National Product (GNP)..... and that is only ONE port... one way that's how Wal-Mart gets it's stuff.
14. Of the 1.6 million employees, only 1.2% Make a living above the poverty level.
15. Wal-Mart's head office is located and centralized in Bentonville.
Due to this fact, there are more millionaires per square mile there than any place on Earth.
16. The official U.S. Government position is that Wal-Mart's prices are no lower than anyone else's when compared to a typical families weekly purchase. That's the view of the statisticians at the Bureau Of Labor Statistics (BLS) responsible for calculating the Consumer Price Index (CPI).
17. 92% of everything Wal-Mart sells, comes from China . Another 4% comes from Chinese owned companies in the U.S. or in 3rd world Countries.
18. Wal-Mart and MOST large companies, take out life insurance on it's employees, without their knowing.
If an employee dies, ALL the insurance moneys go to the companies. (i.e. An employee making $18,000 per year, dies, and the company might make as much as $1 million. Most often these moneys, coming from what is commonly referred to as "Dead Peasant Life Insurance Policies", is paid out to executives as bonuses. A common practice, unknown by the average consumer).
19. Wal-Mart now averages a "profit" (not sales) of $36 billion per year.
20. Let Wal-Mart bail out Wall Street. If not, consider shopping someplace else.
If we closed all the Wal-Mart stores would China go bankrupt?
1. At Wal-Mart, Americans spend $36,000,000 every hour of every day.
2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th)than Target sells all year.
4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears +Costco + K-Mart combined.
5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private employer, and most can't speak English.
6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.
7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, keep in mind they did this in only 15 years.
8. During this same period, 31 Supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
10. Wal-Mart has approx. 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers ; this is 1,000 more than it had 5 years ago.
11. This year, 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur At a Wal-Mart store. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 billion).
12. 90% of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart.
13. The value of product for Wal-Mart passing through the port of San Diego each year is a larger sum than 93% of ALL countries Gross National Product (GNP)..... and that is only ONE port... one way that's how Wal-Mart gets it's stuff.
14. Of the 1.6 million employees, only 1.2% Make a living above the poverty level.
15. Wal-Mart's head office is located and centralized in Bentonville.
Due to this fact, there are more millionaires per square mile there than any place on Earth.
16. The official U.S. Government position is that Wal-Mart's prices are no lower than anyone else's when compared to a typical families weekly purchase. That's the view of the statisticians at the Bureau Of Labor Statistics (BLS) responsible for calculating the Consumer Price Index (CPI).
17. 92% of everything Wal-Mart sells, comes from China . Another 4% comes from Chinese owned companies in the U.S. or in 3rd world Countries.
18. Wal-Mart and MOST large companies, take out life insurance on it's employees, without their knowing.
If an employee dies, ALL the insurance moneys go to the companies. (i.e. An employee making $18,000 per year, dies, and the company might make as much as $1 million. Most often these moneys, coming from what is commonly referred to as "Dead Peasant Life Insurance Policies", is paid out to executives as bonuses. A common practice, unknown by the average consumer).
19. Wal-Mart now averages a "profit" (not sales) of $36 billion per year.
20. Let Wal-Mart bail out Wall Street. If not, consider shopping someplace else.
If we closed all the Wal-Mart stores would China go bankrupt?
Krynn72
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You know this is the humor thread right? It's not the "make people depressed" thread.
HCHTech
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This smells so much like other junk that gets forwarded ad nauseum on FB & email, but there is a Snopes article whose analysis is that it is mostly true - and from 2008. I'm sure today's numbers would be even more depressing.
Slaters Kustum Machines
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Possibly, but the company in the story would go from Wal-Mart to Amazon at that point.
Markverhyden
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Yes, except for 18. That pejorative myth has been floating around for years. Companies do take out life insurance on employees and the employees always know about it and sign off on it. The place where it's really big numbers is in key executive positions where they take out huge policies payable to the company to protect against financial turmoil in the event of someone on Mt Olympus dying. When I was working in the oil business I had a base life insurance policy of something like 50k payable to me. And payouts are certainly not made to executives in the form of a bonus.
GTP
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It was forwarded to me and I thought it was worth sharing just out of interest.
I was impressed by the numbers (if true) - that's all.
Altster
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Please tell me you don't rely "only" on snopes.com for facts. I'm not sure they would know a fact if it hit them in the face!
HCHTech
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Wow, that's a pretty broad brush you're painting with, there. They are *an* external source, that's all. Humor thread - remember.
NETWizz
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Depends on the state if disclosure or permission is required. In some states, I could put a policy on my parents for example and not even tell them. In other states, disclosure is mandatory and the insurance company mails out a letter, and finally in other states, permission is necessary.
CLC
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And you thought it was just a movie.
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coffee
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So, Yesterday I was at a clients site installing a external (usb) backup drive and setting up windows backups. I noticed that the drive was not recognized and I felt the external case for the hum of the mechanical drive. No sound. So, I got my tools out and took the the case apart to reseat the drive. As I had it a part the Accountant that I was hooking the drive up to said to me:
"Why do they put those drives in a box like that" ?.
I really did not know what to say. I just looked at her and tried desperately to think of something without breaking out in laughter.
I smiled and said:
"Well, We just leave them in the shipping container and they have a hole in the back to plug them in. Its just more convenient if you ever have to return them".
"Why do they put those drives in a box like that" ?.
I really did not know what to say. I just looked at her and tried desperately to think of something without breaking out in laughter.
I smiled and said:
"Well, We just leave them in the shipping container and they have a hole in the back to plug them in. Its just more convenient if you ever have to return them".
coffee
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BTW - Hows this for a service call?
Mr. Ingram's Computer Repair & Shoppe
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Just browsed past this... These are good!
https://imgur.com/gallery/OQndy
(Do I need to copy image links and post them as images here, or are yall adult enough to go to the imgur thread alone?)
https://imgur.com/gallery/OQndy
(Do I need to copy image links and post them as images here, or are yall adult enough to go to the imgur thread alone?)
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