Humor Section!

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Markverhyden]

 

[frase]

 

[NETWizz]

View attachment 12254

Yes it's true. That fake oil-based cheese and 51% beef "filler" ... may as well drink a tall glass of prune juice mixed with a double dose of Metamucil, drink a cup of mineral oil, and take a duculax tablet to replicate the chemical reaction of their hot sause.

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[frase]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[NETWizz]

Taken from Reddit... But this describes my job too many times getting asked to check a firewall when someone cannot print to a network printer on the other side of the room in the same subnet on the same VLAN ... Ends up being their print server or something...

But this is the truth! Problem is User = Other IT people... usually SERVER administrators.

Why can I do their job better than they can knowing all kinds of things about servers half the time doing their job for them when it comes to things like DNS zones or DHCP, but they do not know anything about networking at all? Why?

I did some heavy editing to make this more realistic and more relevant to my job:



IS/IT Guy: I think we are having a major road issue.

Network Guy: What? No, I just checked and the roads are fine. I was actually just driving on the roads, and there is only light traffic.

IS/IT Guy (cc's his supervisor and others): No, I’m pretty sure the roads are down because some people are not getting pizzas.

IS/IT Guy's supervisor: What do you know about this? People here are reporting this has been going on three weeks! They are NOT happy!

Network Guy: Everything else on the roads is fine. What do you mean you folks aren't getting pizzas? This is the first we have heard of it. how can we help?

IS/IT Guy: When I test the system, I used to get pizzas when I ordered them, now I’m not getting them! It has to be a road issue!

Network Guy: As I said, the roads are fine. Where are you trying to get pizzas from?

IS/IT Guy: I am not sure specifically, but its from the pizza place where we get pizzas. Can you just check all places that deliver pizzas?

Network Guy: No I don’t even know all the places that deliver pizza. You guys change the places you have deliver pizzas all the time and do not even tell us. Can you narrow it down?

IS/IT Guy: I think we get our pizzas from Subway.

Network Guy: Okay, I’ll check…No, I just looked and Subway doesn't deliver pizzas.

IS/IT Guy: I’m pretty sure it is Subway. Can you just allow all food from Subway, so we can see if pizza shows up?

Network Guy: Sigh, fine I’ve allowed all food from Subway, but I don’t think that is the issue for why you aren't getting pizza.

IS/IT Guy: Yeah I’m still not getting pizza. Can you check the roads?

Network Guy: I already checked the roads; the roads are fine with very little traffic. It is a bright and sunny day, too! I’m pretty sure Subway isn’t the place.

IS/IT Guy: Okay, I found it. It’s Papa Johns!

Network Guy: Okay, I looked and Papa Johns does deliver pizza. Are you trying to get your pizza from the local Papa Johns or one in a different town?

IS/IT Guy: I don’t know. Can you allow pizza from all Papa Johns to me?

Network Guy: No; I am sorry, but that will have to go through Change Management. I can’t do that right now. Let's check to see where this pizza is coming from and why you are not getting it. Can you get me an address for the Papa Johns you ordered pizza from?

IS/IT Guy: No, I only know it as Papa Johns. Can you get me all the addresses of all Papa Johns and I’ll tell you if one of them is correct?

Network Guy No, you folks don't publish all the Papa Johns in the address book, and you change Papa Johns locations often. Let me just check some things and see what I can find... Okay, I looked at the local Papa Johns right down the street, and the logs show it looks like they have sent you pizza in the past, and they are currently allowed to send you pizzas. Try ordering a pizza while I watch.

IS/IT Guy: Yeah still no pizza. I’m guessing they are getting blocked at the freeway. Can you check the freeway to make sure they can get through?

Network Guy No, this is a local delivery. They aren't even using the freeway.

IS/IT Guy: Okay, well then it has to be a road issue.

Network Guy: No, the roads are fine. Okay, I just did a test drive down the roads and can reach every building between you and the local Papa Johns, but when I called Papa Johns they said they tried to deliver the pizza to the address they have on file for you and there is nobody there anymore, so the delivery was unsuccessful.

IS/IT Guy: Hmm, a whole group of us did move recently.

Network Guy: About three weeks ago?

IS/IT Guy: Yeah, three weeks ago.

Network Guy: Okay. Well, did you give your new address to Papa Johns before ordering your pizza?

IS/IT Guy: No, I just thought they would be able to look me up by name.

Network Guy: Did you publish your new address next to your name in the address book?

IS/IT Guy: No.

Network Guy: ...so they need your new address. What’s your new address?

IS/IT Guy: I’m not really sure. Can you look it up?

Network Guy Sigh, give me a second…Okay, I found your address and gave it to Papa Johns and even updated the Address Book, too. Try ordering a pizza now.

IS/IT Guy: HEY! PIZZA JUST SHOWED UP!

Network Guy Okay, good.

IS/IT Guy: (To everyone else they know) I apologize for the delay in the pizza but there was a major road issue that was preventing the pizza from getting to me. The network engineer has fixed the roads and we are able to get pizza again.

Network Guy: *Shrugs*

Same IS/IT Guy: Oh, can you also check on an issue where Chinese food isn’t getting to us? I think it may be a road issue.

 

[Moltuae]

 

[Markverhyden]

Who do they think they're fooling.....

 

[frase]

 

[HCHTech]

 

[Porthos]

 

[GTP]

A guy tells his wife that he's bored with their "sex life" and would like to swap positions.
She looks at him with derision and says "So you want to do the ironing while I sit on the sofa in my underpants and fart?"

 

[Markverhyden]

View attachment 12272

This makes me think of the Twilight Zone episode - To Serve Man

"It's a cook book"

 

[Markverhyden]

Another page from the Thumbtack Book of Jokes......

 

[Markverhyden]

Yes, this was attached to a customer email asking if this was legit.