Humor Section!

[frase]

View attachment 13152

God, I hate these things. Is that a crosswalk? Is that a bicycle? I DON'T KNOW!!! NO ONE KNOWS!!!

lol as above in my post, the tension is horrendous.

 

[TechLady]

 

[NETWizz]

True story

Customer once asked me the breakdown on the labor to replace a broken Cisco network switches and upgrade the switches in three wiring closets and install Avaya VoIP phones for 200 users. I told the customer it would be $6,200, and the customer asked the breakdown.

I responded, “the cost to do the job is $6,200. The cost to not do the job is $0.”

 

[frase]

True story

Customer once asked me the breakdown on the labor to replace a broken Cisco network switches and upgrade the switches in three wiring closets and install Avaya VoIP phones for 200 users. I told the customer it would be $6,200, and the customer asked the breakdown.

I responded, “the cost to do the job is $6,200. The cost to not do the job is $0.”

I would have responded Electric Boogaloo...

 

[thatdude]

There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was". That son-of-a-bitch got up and ran off.

This is absolutely the funniest post I have read in what feels like an eternity. I'm wiping the tears from my eyes as I type this.

 

[YeOldeStonecat]

 

[YeOldeStonecat]

 

[Porthos]

 

[YeOldeStonecat]

 

[Kitten Kong]

A guy and his girlfriend are out having drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time she starts talking about this really great new drink.

The more she talks about it the more excited she gets and she starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. after a while he gives in and lets her order him one.

The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar - a salt shaker, a shot of Baileys and a shot of lime juice.

The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains. "First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth and finally you drink the lime juice"

So the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue - SALTY BUT OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys - SMOOTH, RICH AND COOL, VERY PLEASANT - He thinks, this is OK.

Finally he picks up the lime Juice and drinks it. - in 1 second THE SHARP LIME TASTE HITS HIM - in 2 seconds THE BAILEYS CURDLES - in 3 seconds THE SALTY CURDLED BITTER TASTES HITS This triggers the GAG reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now NASTY drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to her and says "Jesus!!! What do you call that drink???" She smiles at him widely and says "BLOW JOB REVENGE..."

 

[Porthos]

 

[NETWizz]

A guy and his girlfriend are out having drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time she starts talking about this really great new drink.

The more she talks about it the more excited she gets and she starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. after a while he gives in and lets her order him one.

The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar - a salt shaker, a shot of Baileys and a shot of lime juice.

The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains. "First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth and finally you drink the lime juice"

So the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue - SALTY BUT OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys - SMOOTH, RICH AND COOL, VERY PLEASANT - He thinks, this is OK.

Finally he picks up the lime Juice and drinks it. - in 1 second THE SHARP LIME TASTE HITS HIM - in 2 seconds THE BAILEYS CURDLES - in 3 seconds THE SALTY CURDLED BITTER TASTES HITS This triggers the GAG reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now NASTY drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to her and says "Jesus!!! What do you call that drink???" She smiles at him widely and says "BLOW JOB REVENGE..."

That drink is called a cement mixer...

Also, I am pretty sure today we call those who give blow jobs hair stylists. ;-)

 

[mattsnoddy]

 

[NETWizz]

View attachment 13171

I had that happen with a network once.

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

DISTINCTION BETWEEN GUTS AND BALLS


To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words; and if there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls.
We've all heard about people having "Guts" or "Balls", but do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - is arriving home late, after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom,
and having the Guts to ask, are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar,
and slapping your wife on the bottom and having the Balls to say, you're next, chubby.


I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.


Medically speaking; there is no difference in the outcome.

 

[TechLady]

If anyone needs a nice Halloween printable for the office: https://community.spiceworks.com/to...you-don-t-submit-a-ticket?page=2&pagination=2