Humor Section!

IT RELATED POEM


It's not my place to run the train
The whistle I cannot blow.

It's not my place to say how far
The train's allowed to go.

It's not my place to let off steam
Nor even ring the bell.

But let the damn thing jump the track
And see who catches hell.
 
9919_fullcomputercrash.gif


Full computer crash.
 
Dr @Porthos, my PC is giving me hell!
I need Internet Snake Oil 2000 and my free copy of Tune-Up Eraser Boost Alert Turbo Security Master Popkill Pro XP!
I want them now!
Here is my $2000, please dispatch ASAP!
 
A little quiz to keep those tech skills FRESH

Someone that’s not the brightest crayon in the box says they suddenly have no internet. Modem and router are fine and working properly. What is the problem?

A) They forgot how to connect to the internet
B) A rat chewed through the CAT5 cable
C) They infected themselves with a rootkit
D) Failed LAN port

You’re facing a computer with Windows 7 Ultimate. Is it:

a) Pirated
b) Pirated
c) Probably pirated?
d) Pirated

A customer has brought in a custom-built system they say they paid over $1000 for another tech to build. What is the likely total value of the components inside?

a) $700
b) $600
c) $500, tops
d) 50 cents

A customer can no longer fax documents. What has probably occurred?

a) It’s out of ink—you need ink to fax, of course!
b) They got rid of their regular phone service the week before and signed up for VoIP
c) The line is dead
d) Their brain is dead
 
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students.
The teacher asked, 'Harry, what exactly is your problem?'
Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she
is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'
Ms.Brooks finally had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal.
The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the
boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he
was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and
he happily agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Harry: '9..'
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?
Harry: '36.'
And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd
grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'Y’know I
reckon Harry can go to the 3rd grade'
But Ms. Brooks is still sceptical of the little bugger and says to
the principal, 'Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions..'
The principal and Harry both agree.
Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have
only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'
Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets..’ to the Principal’s great relief….
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry: 'Pants.'
By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open..
Ms.. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
Now the principal's eyes open really wide and before he could intervene, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'
The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question……
Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher, "Put the little smartalek in 7th-Grade,
I got the last seven questions wrong myself..."
 
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