Humor Section!

[Porthos]

 

[Kitten Kong]

A German guy called Helmut approaches a lady of the night in London .

"I vish to buy sex viz you."

"Okay," says the girl, "I charge £50 an hour."

"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."

"No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky for an extra £10."

Helmut agrees

So off they go the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.

"I vant zat you tie zese springs to each of your hans und knees."

The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as requested.

"Now you vill get down on your hans und knees."

This she duly does, balancing precariously on the springs.

"You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you."

She thinks this even odder, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying).

But the sex is fantastic: honking away on the duck caller, she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say, "That was totally amazing! What do you call that position?"

"Zat," replies the German, "is the Four-sprung Duck Technique."

 

[timeshifter]

 

[Porthos]

Idiot lights.

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

Software and Hardware Problems Upgrading from Girlfriend application Wife issues;

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications.
He is also now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources.
No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product documentation, though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.
Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself so that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity.
Some applications such as PokerNite 10.3 , Bachelor Party 2.5, and Pubnite 7.0 are no longer able to run on the system at all, causing the system to lockup when launched (even though the apps worked fine before).
....... Wife 1.0 provides no installation options.
Thus, the installation of undesired plug-ins such as Mother-in-law 55.8 and the Brother-in-law Beta is unavoidable. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.
Some features my friend would like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:

• 
  
  • A "don't remind me again" button.
    
  • Minimize button.
    
  • Ability to delete the "headache" file
    
  • An install feature that provides an option to uninstall 2.0 version without loss of other system resources.
    
  • An option to run the network driver in "promiscuous mode" allowing the the system's Hardware Probe feature to be much more useful/effective.

I decided continue using Girlfriend 3.0
Even here, however, I have found many problems.
Installation of Girlfriend 4.0 on top of Girlfriend 3.0. fails.
You must uninstall Girlfriend 3.0 first, otherwise the two versions of Girlfriend will have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port.
Other users have told me that this is a long-standing problem
To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.

Another identified problem is that all versions of Girlfriend have annoying little messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0!

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Markverhyden]

"Mark, we've got some cameras down."

 

[NETWizz]

Well that’s an easy service call... if you fix it the same way again, you get the added benefit of job security. I would fix it the same then throw staggered sizes of Heat shrink with adhesive and shrink them down in multiple stages until it is raked tight.

 

[Diggs]

Don't forget to silicon calk the box so it holds the water in.......

 

[Diggs]

Software and Hardware Problems Upgrading from Girlfriend application Wife issues; ....

 

[Porthos]

 

[Satman]

Be gentle, I'm new here.

In honor of Football season:
It's a good thing Gatorade was developed at the University of Florida and not Florida State.

Seminole fluid just doesn't have the same ring.

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]