Humor Section!

[ThatPlace928]

One can dream, right? I need to teach the cats how to make coffee........ lol

 

[GTP]

I usually wake up with 3 kitties standing on me like they just brought down this hooman in a hunt and now they're deciding what to do with it...

 

[ThatPlace928]

I usually wake up with 3 kitties standing on me like they just brought down this hooman in a hunt and now they're deciding what to do with it...

I have 2 that do that and 2 that would rather snooze. They know they'll get their morning treat bowls and their food, water is always out...... they don't worry about whether I wake up or not...... lol

 

[frase]

I awaken to cats fighting or running around like maniacs.

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Blues]

Very similar to the customer transferred to you only for you to restate what the last person told them and be thanked for telling them the same thing.

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[Porthos]

 

[ThatPlace928]

 

[ThatPlace928]

........ funny, at first. Then not so funny, as you begin to realize how much can be found out about you by anyone wanting your life history..... like maybe the government?

Ordering a pizza in 2024

CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER: How the hell do you know that?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER: WHAT THE HECK?
GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...

 

[britechguy]

View attachment 16383

........ funny, at first. Then not so funny, as you begin to realize how much can be found out about you by anyone wanting your life history..... like maybe the government?

Ordering a pizza in 2024

CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER: How the hell do you know that?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER: WHAT THE HECK?
GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...

But probably only if you've been using the Chrome browser, whether under Android or other platforms.

But you'll get no argument from me that of all the big tech firms, Google has turned data mining and dossier building into the highest of high art forms, and the users of virtually any free Google service are, themselves, the primary product that Google is selling (or the dossier about them).

I'm also not naive, Microsoft and others are not far behind, at all.

And even if the big tech companies were not data mining and dossier building, we still would and could never have the kind of privacy our parents and grandparents had. Public records were not "conveniently public" for the majority of my life, so far. You had to haul yourself down to the county courthouse (or other government office) and either dig through public archives yourself, by hand, or submit paperwork to get what you were looking for (and in that case, not having any opportunity for "incidental discovery of something I'd not thought of" during the process). The fact that public records are now almost all computerized, and even more, accessible online via web searches, all thought of privacy as prior generations knew it need to be chucked in the trash bin.

Online public records, coupled with other information people offer (freely) in things like social media, have profoundly and permanently changed what we have any reasonable reason to expect as far as what people can know about us. This bell is rung, and cannot be un-rung.

 

[Porthos]

There was a VIRAL video about this.

Might be interesting to see the "ending" of what happened to the guy who got busted in Zoom driving while suspended. There had been other viral news reports about the case but the following sets the "record" straight.

 

[ThatPlace928]

There was a VIRAL video about this.

Might be interesting to see the "ending" of what happened to the guy who got busted in Zoom driving while suspended. There had been other viral news reports about the case but the following sets the "record" straight.

I didn't watch it but it came out later that his license had been restored back in 2022. Still, though, it would be stupid and dangerous to do a Zoom video chat while driving, especially in front of the judge. Some people never cease to amaze me with their stupidity.

 

[GTP]

I didn't watch it but it came out later that his license had been restored back in 2022. Still, though, it would be stupid and dangerous to do a Zoom video chat while driving, especially in front of the judge. Some people never cease to amaze me with their stupidity.

Like the "revheads" here that were drag racing and speeding well in excess of our 100kph highway speed limit.
Some on motorcycles were doing up to 250km, while the guys in the cars wern't that far behind at around 220kph.

To brag, they recorded their speedometers and then posted the recordings on social media.

 

[Porthos]

I didn't watch it but it came out later that his license had been restored back in 2022.

Watch the whole second video.

 

[ThatPlace928]