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Markverhyden
Well-Known Member
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- Raleigh, NC
That smile was a dead giveaway....
GTP
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- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Tony Abbott (Former Australian Prime Minister)
My Government has a policy in place and will implement
that policy to stop illegal chickens from entering Australia,
weather they cross the road or not.
Bill Shorten (Current Leader of the Opposition)
This is a blatant attempt to dupe the Australian public into
believing that locking chickens up in detention centres will
stop chickens crossing the road!
We have an inept Prime Minister and an inept Labour Government
with an inherently flawed policy which denies the rights of
Chickens to cross the road!
PETER COSTELLO (former Treasurer)
A GST levy will be applied to the chicken if applicable criteria
are met. Is the chicken cooked or raw? Whole or in pieces?
Anyone who tries to avoid paying GST in regard to
this chicken crossing rule will be dealt with severely by the tax Office!
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
HOMER SIMPSON
Mmmmm! Chicken!
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's what "they" call it- the "other side."
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat
that chicken, you will become gay too!
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out
this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrase like "the other side." That
chicken should not be free to cross the road!
It's as plain and simple as that!
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone and afraid.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
roads without having their motives called into question.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 350 tons of nerve gas and seventy scud
missiles on the infidel.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Mr SPOCK
It's a chicken Jim, but not as we know it.
It has evolved from crossing roads to crossing universes
in an endless quest for peace.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
DANA SCULLY
Mulder! Chickens dont cross roads without reason!
I'll do an autopsy to find out why this particular chicken
decided to cross the road!
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 10, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your chequebook.
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken 10.
I have automatically deducted $759.95 from your
cheque account for the upgrade from eChicken 8.1.
Do not make illegal copies of eChicken 10!
Thank you.
EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by chicken? Could you define "chicken" please?"
GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him
and keep him down.
THE BIBLE
And lo, God decended from the heavens. And He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken
crossed the road and entered into the land of Canan.
And God saw that it was good.
And the Philistines were smited.
And there was great rejoicing. Amen!
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
JOHN McAFEE
This chicken will cross the road within three years!
I will eat my d–k’ if I lose a $500K BitChicken bet!
DONALD TRUMP
Trust me no one can make a chicken cross the road like I can. Make Chickens Great again!
Tony Abbott (Former Australian Prime Minister)
My Government has a policy in place and will implement
that policy to stop illegal chickens from entering Australia,
weather they cross the road or not.
Bill Shorten (Current Leader of the Opposition)
This is a blatant attempt to dupe the Australian public into
believing that locking chickens up in detention centres will
stop chickens crossing the road!
We have an inept Prime Minister and an inept Labour Government
with an inherently flawed policy which denies the rights of
Chickens to cross the road!
PETER COSTELLO (former Treasurer)
A GST levy will be applied to the chicken if applicable criteria
are met. Is the chicken cooked or raw? Whole or in pieces?
Anyone who tries to avoid paying GST in regard to
this chicken crossing rule will be dealt with severely by the tax Office!
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
HOMER SIMPSON
Mmmmm! Chicken!
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's what "they" call it- the "other side."
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat
that chicken, you will become gay too!
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out
this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrase like "the other side." That
chicken should not be free to cross the road!
It's as plain and simple as that!
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone and afraid.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
roads without having their motives called into question.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 350 tons of nerve gas and seventy scud
missiles on the infidel.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Mr SPOCK
It's a chicken Jim, but not as we know it.
It has evolved from crossing roads to crossing universes
in an endless quest for peace.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
DANA SCULLY
Mulder! Chickens dont cross roads without reason!
I'll do an autopsy to find out why this particular chicken
decided to cross the road!
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 10, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your chequebook.
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken 10.
I have automatically deducted $759.95 from your
cheque account for the upgrade from eChicken 8.1.
Do not make illegal copies of eChicken 10!
Thank you.
EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by chicken? Could you define "chicken" please?"
GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him
and keep him down.
THE BIBLE
And lo, God decended from the heavens. And He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken
crossed the road and entered into the land of Canan.
And God saw that it was good.
And the Philistines were smited.
And there was great rejoicing. Amen!
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
JOHN McAFEE
This chicken will cross the road within three years!
I will eat my d–k’ if I lose a $500K BitChicken bet!
DONALD TRUMP
Trust me no one can make a chicken cross the road like I can. Make Chickens Great again!
Last edited:
Brilliant! 
Although ...
... unless of course that's the sort of thing the famous pediatrician might say.
Although ...
I'm no Star Trek expert, but shouldn't that be Mr. Spock?
... unless of course that's the sort of thing the famous pediatrician might say.
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,451
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
Thanks @Moltuae. Edited!Brilliant!
Although ...
I'm no Star Trek expert, but shouldn't that be Mr. Spock?
... unless of course that's the sort of thing the famous pediatrician might say.
Brunski Tech
Member
- Reaction score
- 9
- Location
- Newark
Brilliant!
Although ...
I'm no Star Trek expert, but shouldn't that be Mr. Spock?
... unless of course that's the sort of thing the famous pediatrician might say.
must had a Star Trek III flashback...... or was thinking of Dr. Who
Dr. McCoy
I am a Doctor, not a chicken.
edited to add the or was thinking of Dr. Who after it was liked
Last edited:
Larry Sabo
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 3,325
- Location
- Ottawa, Canada
Recent discussion with my 4-year-old grandson while we’re building Lego things:
Out of nowhere, he strokes the hair on my forearm, looks up at me and says …
“Your hair is white; why is your hair white?
Because I’m old
“Are you as old as Daddy?”
Yup
“I have white hair!”
Really? Where?
He points to his forearm, which is bare
“You have a big belly; why is your belly big?”
Because I eat too much
“Santa has a big belly; is Santa real?
I don’t know
”Lift your shirt and show me your belly”
No.
Out of nowhere, he strokes the hair on my forearm, looks up at me and says …
“Your hair is white; why is your hair white?
Because I’m old
“Are you as old as Daddy?”
Yup
“I have white hair!”
Really? Where?
He points to his forearm, which is bare
“You have a big belly; why is your belly big?”
Because I eat too much
“Santa has a big belly; is Santa real?
I don’t know
”Lift your shirt and show me your belly”
No.
Last edited:
HCHTech
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 4,045
- Location
- Pittsburgh, PA - USA
We were always careful to teach our twins the right name for things - no euphemisms if you get my drift. Anyway, My wife's nephew and his new wife came over to babysit one evening when the boys were toddlers. After the initial greetings were over they each had a boy sitting with them, when one boy announced to the wife - "I like you! You have nipples!! Can I see them?" The other chimed in "Yeah! Let's see them!" That was a pretty awkward introduction to the family for her -haha.
Markverhyden
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 10,841
- Location
- Raleigh, NC
Kids can say the darnedest things sometimes. When my daughter was very young she was a procrastinator when it came to "relieving" herself. More than once, usually while standing in line at the grocery store for some reason, she'd loudly announce she has to go RIGHT NOW.....
@Barcelona you missed one
Donald Trump- Trust me no one can make a chicken cross the road like I can. Make Chickens Great again!
Donald Trump- Trust me no one can make a chicken cross the road like I can. Make Chickens Great again!
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,451
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
Thanks, I'll add it to the list.
Anyone got any more?
Brunski Tech
Member
- Reaction score
- 9
- Location
- Newark
I am not sure if you missed this or not (where I joked you had a Star Trek III flashback...
Dr. McCoy
I am a Doctor, not a chicken.
I was trying to come up with a comeback to Mr. Spock comment, however, couldnt seem to fit.
Markverhyden
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 10,841
- Location
- Raleigh, NC
Altster
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 1,394
- Location
- Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
"I'm a doctor, not a escalator!"
Too funny
Too funny
Altster
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 1,394
- Location
- Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Out of curiosity, do any of you know where I got / took the picture I am now using as an avatar?
And yes this is a test, but there are no prizes.
And yes this is a test, but there are no prizes.
mraikes
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 1,856
- Location
- Los Lunas, NM
Is this a trick? I'm guessing Terre Haute, IN. At the Clabber Girl museum.
Altster
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 1,394
- Location
- Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
You got it - exactly.
And no, it wasn't a trick. I was curious to see if anyone knew of this museum. Interesting place to visit, too.
Now back to our regularly scheduled funny pages!
mraikes
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 1,856
- Location
- Los Lunas, NM
Wait! What's the backstory? What was so interesting about that one sign that you had to take a picture of it? And then make it your Avatar?
- Reaction score
- 130
- Location
- West Michigan
Just got asked to review a quote for a security system for an out of state client from a company that also installs wall mounted flatscreen tvs. Thought I would checkout their website. Interesting tagline...
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