Humor Section!
- Thread starter TechLady
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GTP
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- Adelaide, Australia
glennd
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omg how many times a day do you have that conversation?!?
Altster
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- Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
"unfriend!" LOL
GTP
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- Reaction score
- 9,451
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You *******!"
The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten *******!"
The judge stops and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom.
Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I'll have you before me for contempt. Is that understood?"
Paddy stands up and says,
"I'm sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I've lived next door to that ******* and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You *******!"
The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten *******!"
The judge stops and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom.
Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I'll have you before me for contempt. Is that understood?"
Paddy stands up and says,
"I'm sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I've lived next door to that ******* and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."
GTP
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- Reaction score
- 9,451
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
A magician worked on a cruise ship..
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks
over and over again.
There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week
and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show,
"Look, It’s not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers
under the table!” Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all,
the Captain's' parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank,
drowning almost all who were on board.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the
middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... with the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on
the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...
"OK, I give up. Where's the f***in' ship?"
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks
over and over again.
There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week
and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show,
"Look, It’s not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers
under the table!” Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all,
the Captain's' parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank,
drowning almost all who were on board.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the
middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... with the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally on
the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...
"OK, I give up. Where's the f***in' ship?"
GTP
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- Reaction score
- 9,451
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
African animals having too much of the good life!
GTP
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- Reaction score
- 9,451
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
Porthos
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- Location
- San Antonio Tx
Altster
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- 1,394
- Location
- Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
HCHTech
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- Location
- Pittsburgh, PA - USA
I love these things! One out-of-the-box strange idea and they've made a career out of it. Tickles my funny bone, anyway.
GTP
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- Reaction score
- 9,451
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
Those zebra's at the waterhole....LMFAO
HCHTech
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- Reaction score
- 4,045
- Location
- Pittsburgh, PA - USA
When the leopard falls off the branch and you only see his belly & feet on the bounce. I think that was the first one of these I saw, still makes me laugh.
GTP
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- Reaction score
- 9,451
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
Would you accept this excuse to get out of work?
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