Humor Section!

Mick · Apr 10, 2020

A Yorkie is wandering around Leeds doing his hour-a-day exercises. Suddenly he comes across God, walking in the opposite direction.

"Now then, God, lad," he says. "I didn't expect to find thee here."

"Aye" says God. "It's t'Virus, tha knows. I'm 'aving to work from home."

(Explanation supplied on request...)

Moltuae · Apr 10, 2020

frase said:
Lol I was thinking that the other day when I was in a bakery. It felt like I was playing Battlechess

That brings back memories!

I've never been one for playing computer games (spent most of my youth programming computers instead) but Battle Chess is one of only about 3 games I ever played, the other 2 being Lemmings and The Incredible Machine.

Porthos · Apr 10, 2020

buzzcut · Apr 11, 2020

frase · Apr 11, 2020

Porthos · Apr 11, 2020

14067_!%20a%20understand%20now%20majorgeeks.jpg

Porthos · Apr 11, 2020

Porthos · Apr 11, 2020

14068_!%20a%20word%20fail%20majorgeeks.jpg

GTP · Apr 11, 2020

"USS Nimitz, you need to veer 31 degrees north to avoid a direct collision"

(USS Nimitz).. "This is the Captain...We will not veer 31 degrees north. You must steer you course 31 degrees south to avoid a collision."

"USS Nimitz, you are in danger of collision, you must bear 31 degrees north..."

"(USS Nimitz) Now listen up....This is Admiral Arthur Roberts of the USS Nimitz... The Nimitz is the most powerful aircraft carrier in the world. We carry enough firepower to destroy entire countries. We will not hesitate to assert our authority.
We will not bear 31 degrees in any direction. You must bear 31 degrees south or the consequences will be dire for you. Do you understand?..."

......

"USS Nimitz...This is the Bird Island Lighthouse so make your own arrangements...."