Humor Section!

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their shopping trolly's around BigW when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention
to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, slim, with blonde hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra,
long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?' To which the old guy says, "Who cares, --- let's look for yours!"
 
15291_kangaroos%20majorgeeks.jpg
 
Borrowed ahem nicked off a friends wall.

If you own a dog you will love this. If you don't own a dog then you should also find this funny!!

Dear Dogs,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

Sincerely,
Your Overwhelmed Owner
 
Kitten Kong said:
Borrowed ahem nicked off a friends wall.

If you own a dog you will love this. If you don't own a dog then you should also find this funny!!

Dear Dogs,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help, because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

Sincerely,
Your Overwhelmed Owner
Click to expand...
And also....
Although you think its your God Given Right to alert the neighbourhood everytime there's a knock on the door or when I accidentally bump the wall, or everytime the the neighbour walks out to water his garden, every car that drives down our street, every shadow that you see (or think you see) move when the wind moves the trees, or indeed, every leaf that blows past in the wind - it's not necessary.
And yes, I hear you (and smell you) every time you backfire with the effort you put into making your bark as loud as possible.
Sincerely &c....
 
Markverhyden said:
I was at a hotel yesterday replacing a router and had to pass through this to get to the back of house. Not quite sure what the "science" is about this installation.
Click to expand...

Obviously installed by two different people, each sure they were right and left the other incorrect installation in place to illustrate what happens when you give the job to someone who doesn't know what they are doing! That'll teach 'em!
 
Barcelona said:
🤣 So how many did you purchase at that super cheap price?

I saw this on Amazon once. A box of 4 LED lights was like $161,000
Click to expand...

I found this explanation in a forum - not sure if I believe it, but it seems plausible:

=======
It is a simple way of putting some of my inventory on vacation.

Sometimes when I notice that there is something wrong with a listing ( such as the book associated with it was in the box that got wet ) but it is low priority, I will add three or four zeros to get it out of the way.
This guarantees that it will not sell ( or if it does, it will be worth my time to acquire another copy )
When I get all of the higher priority stuff done, then I can just search my inventory by price from high to low, and the listings that need to be fixed will pop up.
=======
 
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