Humor Section!
- Thread starter TechLady
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Markverhyden
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- 10,837
- Location
- Raleigh, NC
GTP
Well-Known Member
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- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
Oh, how quickly their joy turned to pain.
NETWizz
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- 1,902
Actually it didn't. Back then the standards are so low Windows 95 was a huge improvement over 3.1 and 3.11
Altster
Well-Known Member
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- 1,394
- Location
- Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
And don't forget that the original install media for 95 was (I believe) on over 20+ 3.5" floppy disks. Oh joy, joy, joy 
And I can remember copying all of those floppies to my 100 MB Zip Drive and installing from there. Since those 3.5" floppies were formatted to 1.65 MB (as I recall) I had to have a special driver installed to be able to read those disks.
And I can remember copying all of those floppies to my 100 MB Zip Drive and installing from there. Since those 3.5" floppies were formatted to 1.65 MB (as I recall) I had to have a special driver installed to be able to read those disks.
ChrisTech
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- 346
- Location
- East Midlands UK
The happy bloke in the photo is now using Windows 10 and wishes he still had 95
TurricanII
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 449
- Location
- Isle of Man
It installed sooooo fast when all the floppy files were xcopied to c:\win95And don't forget that the original install media for 95 was (I believe) on over 20+ 3.5" floppy disks. Oh joy, joy, joy
And I can remember copying all of those floppies to my 100 MB Zip Drive and installing from there. Since those 3.5" floppies were formatted to 1.65 MB (as I recall) I had to have a special driver installed to be able to read those disks.
Still remember a working generic install key (last five digits could be anything):
11195-0000007-12345
What we have today is same cr*p just a different millennium.
NYJimbo
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- 2,010
- Location
- Long Island
Altster
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 1,394
- Location
- Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
Oh yes, that made it much faster - during that time period.
Sure has changed a lot now.
And M$ still puts out a junk O/S!
TCG
Active Member
- Reaction score
- 178
- Location
- Los Angeles, CA
TCG
Active Member
- Reaction score
- 178
- Location
- Los Angeles, CA
Altster
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 1,394
- Location
- Indianapolis, Indiana, USA
The Best divorce Letter Ever
Dear Husband,
I am writing you this letter to inform you that I am leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These Last two weeks Have been hell. Your Boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week. you came home and didn't notice that I'd gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went right to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore. You don't even touch me or anything. Either you are cheating or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I am gone.
P.S. If You're trying to find me, don't. Your Brother and I are moving away to West Virginia together!Have a great life!>
Your EX-WIFE********************************************
The letter in response to the wife:
Dear Ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years. Although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My Mother raised me not to say anything if you cannot say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my brother because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had the negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So, when I discovered that I'd hit the lottery for ten million dollars, I quit my job working for that lame boss, and bought US two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home, You were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you have always wanted. My Lawyer said, with the letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother, was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
signed,
Your rich ex-husband
Dear Husband,
I am writing you this letter to inform you that I am leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These Last two weeks Have been hell. Your Boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week. you came home and didn't notice that I'd gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went right to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore. You don't even touch me or anything. Either you are cheating or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I am gone.
P.S. If You're trying to find me, don't. Your Brother and I are moving away to West Virginia together!Have a great life!>
Your EX-WIFE********************************************
The letter in response to the wife:
Dear Ex-Wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years. Although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My Mother raised me not to say anything if you cannot say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my brother because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had the negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So, when I discovered that I'd hit the lottery for ten million dollars, I quit my job working for that lame boss, and bought US two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home, You were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you have always wanted. My Lawyer said, with the letter you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother, was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
signed,
Your rich ex-husband
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and
noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he
wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father..'
The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'
... The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.'
The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and
he doesn't wear his collar that way!'
The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds',
and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,
"Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards
instead of your collar.."
noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he
wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father..'
The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'
... The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.'
The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and
he doesn't wear his collar that way!'
The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds',
and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,
"Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards
instead of your collar.."
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
Bill Gates goes to purgatory.
St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".
First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds.
Bill chooses Hell.
About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons.
Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?"
St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".
First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds.
Bill chooses Hell.
About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons.
Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?"
St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
GTP
Well-Known Member
- Reaction score
- 9,449
- Location
- Adelaide, Australia
At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (by
Mr. Welch himself) stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason at all, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left-turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, and you would have to reinstall the engine.
4. When your car died on the free way for no reason, you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'CarXP' or 'CarNT', and then added more seats.
6. Apple would make a car powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five per cent of the roads.
7. Oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car default' warning light.
8. New seats would force every-one to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of road maps from Rand-McNally (a subsidiary of GM), even though they neither need them nor want them. Trying to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You would press the 'start' button to shut off the engine.
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release (by
Mr. Welch himself) stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason at all, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left-turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, and you would have to reinstall the engine.
4. When your car died on the free way for no reason, you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought 'CarXP' or 'CarNT', and then added more seats.
6. Apple would make a car powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five per cent of the roads.
7. Oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single 'general car default' warning light.
8. New seats would force every-one to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of road maps from Rand-McNally (a subsidiary of GM), even though they neither need them nor want them. Trying to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You would press the 'start' button to shut off the engine.
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