GTP
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This thread has now officially gone down the toilet! Lol
Humor Section!
- Thread starter TechLady
- Start date
Markverhyden
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In a very fragrant and glamorous manner. LOL!!!
GTP
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AN INTERESTING OBSERVATION
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL / NETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is Cricket.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. And...
6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE amazing facts are, the higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
There must be a boat load of people in State Parliament and Fedral Parliament in Canberra playing marbles !!!
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL / NETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is Cricket.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. And...
6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE amazing facts are, the higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
There must be a boat load of people in State Parliament and Fedral Parliament in Canberra playing marbles !!!
coffee
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An alien space vessel landed quietly in St. Peter's Square.
A hatch opened and two little grey men with dazzling smiles appeared. They were promptly granted an audience with the Pope.
After a brief discussion about the weather, the Pope said, "I know this question may sound odd to you, but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?"
"Jesus Christ!?" exclaimed the slightly taller of two aliens. "Of course we do! He visits our planet every two years or so. Awesome fellow!"
A hush descended on the audience chamber, and everyone watched the Pope, whose face had turned a rather odd purple.
"Every two years!?!?" he shouted. "We're still waiting for his second coming!"
"Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?" suggested the alien.
"Chocolate?" replied the Pope. "What in heaven's name does chocolate have to do with it!?"
"Well," said the alien, "when he came to our planet, we gave him chocolate. Why? What did you do?"
A hatch opened and two little grey men with dazzling smiles appeared. They were promptly granted an audience with the Pope.
After a brief discussion about the weather, the Pope said, "I know this question may sound odd to you, but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?"
"Jesus Christ!?" exclaimed the slightly taller of two aliens. "Of course we do! He visits our planet every two years or so. Awesome fellow!"
A hush descended on the audience chamber, and everyone watched the Pope, whose face had turned a rather odd purple.
"Every two years!?!?" he shouted. "We're still waiting for his second coming!"
"Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?" suggested the alien.
"Chocolate?" replied the Pope. "What in heaven's name does chocolate have to do with it!?"
"Well," said the alien, "when he came to our planet, we gave him chocolate. Why? What did you do?"
coffee
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With all the viruses, conflicts and instability in the world, I think more likely it's still running Windows 95.
Altster
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Probably running "wine" on that Debian box so that "95 (most likely "A")" will run on it!
GTP
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GTP
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Last edited:
NYJimbo
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The Simpsons - Dr Frink Computer (Frinkiac 7)
GTP
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A few more...
GTP
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The importance of accuracy in your tax return
The Australian Taxation Office has returned an Income Tax Return lodged by man in Townsville, QLD, after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly.
In response to the question, "Do you have any dependants?"
The man wrote: "Yes, 2.5 million illegal immigrants, 1.3 million crack heads, 4.9 million unemployable scroungers, 96,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus 450 idiots in Parliament, thousands of ‘Retired Politicians' and an entire group that call themselves 'Senators'
The ATO stated that the response he gave was "unacceptable".
The man's response back to ATO was, "Who did I leave out?"
The Australian Taxation Office has returned an Income Tax Return lodged by man in Townsville, QLD, after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly.
In response to the question, "Do you have any dependants?"
The man wrote: "Yes, 2.5 million illegal immigrants, 1.3 million crack heads, 4.9 million unemployable scroungers, 96,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus 450 idiots in Parliament, thousands of ‘Retired Politicians' and an entire group that call themselves 'Senators'
The ATO stated that the response he gave was "unacceptable".
The man's response back to ATO was, "Who did I leave out?"
Larry Sabo
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The thousands of civil servants, including those at the tax office, all over-paid and with benefits the rest of us can only dream of, if Australia is like Canada.
GTP
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Very much like Canada!The thousands of civil servants, including those at the tax office, all over-paid and with benefits the rest of us can only dream of, if Australia is like Canada.
Porthos
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GTP
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Have some fun with Google
Into Google search type these: (one at a time, without quotes) and press search
"askew" or "tilt" will cause the search results to be displayed at a slight angle.
"Atari Breakout" and then clicking Images will start a game of Breakout using the image results as bricks. When one wins it searches something else randomly and plays again.
"Do a barrel roll" or "z or r twice" will cause the search result to rotate 360 degrees when showing. This is often connected with Nintendo's Star Fox games.
"zerg rush" causes a bunch of Google "o"s to attack the result page and eventually destroy it; the user can, however, fight back by clicking on them. After destroying the results, the "o"s then arrange themselves into two capital 'G's, representing the acronym for "good game".
"Bletchley Park" will cause the title of the info card to appear as if it was being deciphered by Google. This is a reference to the fact that Bletchley Park, in Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, was the central site of the United Kingdom's Government Code and Cypher School (GC&CS), which during the Second World War regularly penetrated the secret communications of the Axis Powers.
"kerning" will increase the spacing between every letter in the word kerning by 1 pixel whenever it shows up in the search results page. Conversely, searching for "keming" (a common example of unfortunate kerning) will decrease the spacing between letters of the word when it shows up in the search results page.
Searching for any actor's name followed by "bacon number" returns the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon value.
"Recursion" will result in Google asking if the user meant "Recursion."
"Conway's Game of Life" produces the Life simulation described by Conway.
using Search by voice for "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood" produces a vocal response of another tongue twister "A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood".
"Kwanzaa" returns a green, Kwanzaa background
"Festivus" places a Festivus pole in the left side of the window.
"Santa Claus" or "Christmas decorations" places an animation of a snowy landscape with Santa Claus and his reindeer riding across the top of the search results. On Christmas Eve, a map will appear where Santa is currently located.
"anagram" results in the search engine asking "Did you mean: nag a ram" ("nag a ram" is an anagram of the word "anagram")
"Google in 1998" results in a 1998 Google search screen appearing in place of the current Google search screen. Clicking on the first result will bring the user to the Wayback Machine's version of Google from 1998. However, clicking I'm Feeling Lucky will go to a page showing Google's history in depth.
"Google Pacman" has a playable version of the game appear on the screen.
Jason Isaacs returns "Hello to Jason Isaacs", a reference to the BBC Radio 5 live film review program with Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo.
'who are you' using the voice recognition search causes the voiceover to say 'searching for oneself may take a lifetime. But a good place to start is classic rock.'
"blink html" will make both of the words "blink" and "html" do just that (blink) wherever it shows up in the search results.
"beam me up, Scotty" using voice search produces a vocal response that says "I cannot do it, Captain, I do not have the power." in an impersonation of the character Mr. Scott from Star Trek.
"What does the fox say?" using voice search produces various vocal responses from the song of the same name by Ylvis.
"same sex marriage", "Drag queen" or "gay rights" will cause the navigation bar to turn into rainbow polygons.
Source: Google.
Do you know of any others?
Into Google search type these: (one at a time, without quotes) and press search
"askew" or "tilt" will cause the search results to be displayed at a slight angle.
"Atari Breakout" and then clicking Images will start a game of Breakout using the image results as bricks. When one wins it searches something else randomly and plays again.
"Do a barrel roll" or "z or r twice" will cause the search result to rotate 360 degrees when showing. This is often connected with Nintendo's Star Fox games.
"zerg rush" causes a bunch of Google "o"s to attack the result page and eventually destroy it; the user can, however, fight back by clicking on them. After destroying the results, the "o"s then arrange themselves into two capital 'G's, representing the acronym for "good game".
"Bletchley Park" will cause the title of the info card to appear as if it was being deciphered by Google. This is a reference to the fact that Bletchley Park, in Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, was the central site of the United Kingdom's Government Code and Cypher School (GC&CS), which during the Second World War regularly penetrated the secret communications of the Axis Powers.
"kerning" will increase the spacing between every letter in the word kerning by 1 pixel whenever it shows up in the search results page. Conversely, searching for "keming" (a common example of unfortunate kerning) will decrease the spacing between letters of the word when it shows up in the search results page.
Searching for any actor's name followed by "bacon number" returns the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon value.
"Recursion" will result in Google asking if the user meant "Recursion."
"Conway's Game of Life" produces the Life simulation described by Conway.
using Search by voice for "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood" produces a vocal response of another tongue twister "A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood".
"Kwanzaa" returns a green, Kwanzaa background
"Festivus" places a Festivus pole in the left side of the window.
"Santa Claus" or "Christmas decorations" places an animation of a snowy landscape with Santa Claus and his reindeer riding across the top of the search results. On Christmas Eve, a map will appear where Santa is currently located.
"anagram" results in the search engine asking "Did you mean: nag a ram" ("nag a ram" is an anagram of the word "anagram")
"Google in 1998" results in a 1998 Google search screen appearing in place of the current Google search screen. Clicking on the first result will bring the user to the Wayback Machine's version of Google from 1998. However, clicking I'm Feeling Lucky will go to a page showing Google's history in depth.
"Google Pacman" has a playable version of the game appear on the screen.
Jason Isaacs returns "Hello to Jason Isaacs", a reference to the BBC Radio 5 live film review program with Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo.
'who are you' using the voice recognition search causes the voiceover to say 'searching for oneself may take a lifetime. But a good place to start is classic rock.'
"blink html" will make both of the words "blink" and "html" do just that (blink) wherever it shows up in the search results.
"beam me up, Scotty" using voice search produces a vocal response that says "I cannot do it, Captain, I do not have the power." in an impersonation of the character Mr. Scott from Star Trek.
"What does the fox say?" using voice search produces various vocal responses from the song of the same name by Ylvis.
"same sex marriage", "Drag queen" or "gay rights" will cause the navigation bar to turn into rainbow polygons.
Source: Google.
Do you know of any others?
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GTP
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It's official. According to Google,
What conquers all?
• Love
• Labor and perseverance
• Courage
• Truth
• Humor
• Linux
What conquers all?
• Love
• Labor and perseverance
• Courage
• Truth
• Humor
• Linux
Markverhyden
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These features, from what I remember, came from The Mozilla Project with the release of Netscape. They were called Easter Eggs.
Google used to do some of these when searching for point to point directions. Such as search for LA to Tokyo. Walking directions from city center to the Pacific Ocean, swimming across the Pacific, then walking to city center. The time estimates were even based on the average swimming speed of a human. LOL!!! FF used to have some that loaded via the about: directive.
I've always enjoyed the humor some of these software people engage in. Like a recursive statement - AKA infinite loop. Richard Stallman did that with GNU, GNU's Not Unix.
Google used to do some of these when searching for point to point directions. Such as search for LA to Tokyo. Walking directions from city center to the Pacific Ocean, swimming across the Pacific, then walking to city center. The time estimates were even based on the average swimming speed of a human. LOL!!! FF used to have some that loaded via the about: directive.
I've always enjoyed the humor some of these software people engage in. Like a recursive statement - AKA infinite loop. Richard Stallman did that with GNU, GNU's Not Unix.
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